FUCKING TELEVISON
I just saw the latest teaser for Average Joe. The latest in the neverending cavalcade of desperate bimbos clawing all over themselves for a less then handsome, suitably bland fucksuck, whom they think, or rather, hope has a larger bulge in his wallet than he has in his pants. The best part is, they take this bubbly girl, and deposit her in a remote location promising her a whole busload of men, clawing for her like it was some English boarding school, and they hadn't decided that "it" doesn't count yet (or better, perhaps there is "we're just practising.") This one is fucking great, because it turns out, (there's always a twist, those tricky little devils at the networks!) These guys are "average." Man, if I was the dumbfuck who answered that casting call, or even better, if I was asked to be go for that, I think I would stab my eyes out right then.
"Yeah, we really like this thing you have going, but we don't think you're quite right for The Bacheloette, but we're developing a new show....something more... everyman. I think you'd be perfect for it.
The best part is these fucktards say, I'm all for it, sign me the fuck up!
Then there is Trista, or Carrie, or Jizzface or whatever this seasons silly little girls name is, who couldn't possibly soil her precious little self, by dating some less than spectacular speciman of a man. Like the four years that she spent waking up in a soup made of her own vomit, half the football teams ejaculate, and other bodily fluids, didn't do anything to deter her from wearing white at her dream wedding.
I have a couple of suggestions for next seasons reality television line-up. Remember, it was me who originally had the idea for the Surreal Life, but my version had Don Knotts, and there was a winner who was awarded a gay porn contract in the end!
Who Wants To Marry A Mormon? The twist is, in the end, he marries them all!
The Amish Life. The best part is, there is no fucking show, they're Amish, for fuck's sake!
Both of these shows of course, there will be a surprise guest. We'll just say for now, it's the former pimp/girlfriend/sister he married/loan officer.
Remember during sweeps next year, it was me who thought of this all.

Posted 10:00 PM by J.Ro