Walsh Rock 'em Stock 'em

2007-08-12T22:16:00.000-04:00

Dear Svedka Vodka, Your label says you were voted "Best Vodka Of 2033," I am assuming this is after the vodka wars, where all other vodkas have been destroyed by your evil "Fembot Army," and the general taste consensus is to drink things that taste like battery acid mixed with anger. Also, stay away from my time machine.XOXO,Princess Fancypants.

2007-05-23T02:13:00.000-04:00

Today, my boss said, "I don't understand why anyone would want to climb on top of an animal and go around in circles." I thought it was the funniest thing I heard like ever.

MYSPACE SURVEY BY ROCKETYSTOCKETY

2007-03-13T13:45:00.000-04:00

MYSPACE SURVEY BY ROCKETYSTOCKETY1. How many gay ass MySpace surveys have you filled out?2. Why?3. Do your "friends" not know this shit already?4. If they don't, do you think they care?5. How long did it take you to realize MySpace surveys are dumb?6. How much of a retard are you for answering up until this question?7. how much stupider are you now?8. Do you want me to kick you in the head?9.

Santa Baby!

2006-12-20T16:23:00.000-05:00

.flickr-photo { border: solid 2px #000000; }.flickr-yourcomment { }.flickr-frame { text-align: left; padding: 3px; }.flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } Image_2075.jpg, originally uploaded by Matthew Photo. Fighting the war on Chritmas!

2006-12-06T14:46:00.000-05:00

J-Rock: But you are in LA? Did you move? Why did you go to LA? Why aren't you in NY to come to my new years's party?Lord Casio: Hey, I just decided that I'm coming to NYC in 2 days until the 18th. So when's your crappy party already!? (ha)J-Rock: It's a new years party. It's on New Years Eve.Lord Casio: Gay...what about Quanza?J-Rock: I have a Kwanzaa party, but it's in my pants, and you're not

2006-11-30T12:03:00.000-05:00

J-Rock: I am thinking that I should start a fight club, but instead of men who want to fight, it will just be slutty girls.Universal Donor: hmm, I predict you will be a millionaire soon.

2006-11-07T12:42:00.000-05:00

Go read Fuzzy Squid and see about my date from hell. Maybe if I stop feeling really lazy I will tell the entire story again.

Hipster Meta RantI hate myselfSugar-free Redbull doesn't cover the taste of vomit.

2006-10-31T13:07:00.000-05:00

Hipster Meta RantI hate myselfSugar-free Redbull doesn't cover the taste of vom.Universal Donor has been raving about the awesomeness of The Burg. I finally got around to downloading some and putting it onto my Ipod, (cause you know, the new video IPod takes like forever to load things onto.) So I am on the L, going out to the steel shop that freelance at, but today I am just waiting for the DSL

2006-08-31T20:30:00.000-04:00

Thank you R.V. Pierce M.D.

2006-07-24T17:35:00.000-04:00

18

2006-07-19T11:48:00.000-04:00

.flickr-photo { border: solid 2px #000000; }.flickr-yourcomment { }.flickr-frame { text-align: left; padding: 3px; }.flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } 18, originally uploaded by Rock'em Stock'em. When I was 18, I was a naughty, naughty girl who didn't deserve to eat.

Based on true events.

2006-07-19T01:32:00.000-04:00

On Resin BabiesUniversal Donor: zam! here now, how 'bout you?Me: yesUniversal Donor: wheee! I'm dying!!!!!Me: have you checked my blog and seen my obscene Asian babies?11:00 AM GET WITH THE TIMES!Universal Donor: i've been out of the loop for the last 3 weeks or soMe: What loop were you in? The anti-Asian babies loop!Me: http://rockemstockem.blogspot.com/Universal Donor: thanks, spazfucker i know

Resin babies in chinatown

2006-07-16T20:55:00.000-04:00

.flickr-photo { border: solid 2px #000000; }.flickr-yourcomment { }.flickr-frame { text-align: left; padding: 3px; }.flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } Resin babies in chinatown, originally uploaded by Rock'em Stock'em. I found these in Chinatown, they were $3.00 each. Mister insisted that I buy the whole set.

Image26

2006-07-11T12:47:00.000-04:00

2006-07-08T11:31:00.001-04:00

danchat

2006-04-13T18:26:00.000-04:00

danchat Originally uploaded by Rock'em Stock'em.

Last Night

2006-04-02T18:15:00.000-04:00

Dear NYC Cab Drivers, When a single woman enters your cab after attending a party, it is okay to make polite conversaton; polite conversation in case you are not aware includes, but is not limited to the following asking her how her night was.if she is from the city. telling her small inconsequential details about yourself, where you are from, your name etc. It is not okay to to tell her your

unicorns

2006-03-24T16:59:00.000-05:00

unicorns Originally uploaded by Rock'em Stock'em. Jeffery Brown's comic, I'm going to be small.

unicorn 3

2006-03-24T14:54:00.000-05:00

unicorn 3 Originally uploaded by Rock'em Stock'em.

Art Appreciation

2006-03-24T14:22:00.000-05:00

happy couple Originally uploaded by Postmodern Drunkard. Nuncstans totally understands my art.

robot

2006-03-18T23:14:00.000-05:00

robot Originally uploaded by Rock'em Stock'em.

2006-03-02T01:34:00.000-05:00

Actual Text Message ExchangeVictor: You should come to Barcade. Nerd convention!J-Rock: Are you the keynote speaker?

2006-02-05T21:48:00.000-05:00

The New York City subway system, although greatly improved from the days of yore, still leaves much to be desired. I know, what an original observation! J-Rock, you so clevah! Maybe instead I just want to share with you a couple of recent stories. Last week on my way to work, I went to sit down on a bench and realized why only one person was sitting at this bench, because there were multiple

2006-01-16T02:18:00.000-05:00

This is on the sleeve of my new coat.

2006-01-01T21:18:00.000-05:00

Happy New Years!Todays list is entitled...THINGS TO NEVER WRITE IN AN E-MAIL OR CHAT TO J-ROCK<3CUL8ERCYOF2FFOMCLFTBOMHGALGOLIMCOIMHOIMNSHOIMOIRLJICJKJMOJTLYKKITKWIM?L8R G8RLDRLHOLMAOLMSOLOLLTRLYLY4EMorFNIFOCNP or N/POLLOMGOTFPAWRLROTFLROTFLMAORPGRTSEGSETESWAKSWLSYS TA TAFN TCOYTGIFTLK2UL8RTMITNTTOYTTYLTU TYWBWBSWT?WTFOWTF!?WU?YBSYGBSMno, really.

2005-11-15T23:52:00.000-05:00

2005-11-10T04:46:00.000-05:00

These are just some pictures I have. I took some, found one, etc.

2005-11-08T20:52:00.000-05:00

Papa Stock's birthday has come and gone, and he still hasn't changed his answering machine. On a funny note, last night he was mistaken for my husband.

2005-11-06T23:44:00.000-05:00

Googling GogolToday I saw a man without a nose, just a band-aid where his nose should be. I tried not to stare, and think of Gogol.

2005-10-29T15:25:00.000-04:00

I SeeI am looking at a book right now called Raccoons Are The Smartest People; no they are not, they're raccoons.I was recently watchiing Cinderella with my neice. There was a preveiw for Cinderella III. WTF? Where was II? So of course I had to look it up. My favorite part of IMDB are the message boards. This is an actual quote from the message board:Why does she wear her old serving clothes when

2005-10-09T20:56:00.000-04:00

Although, He Did Call Me StunningJRock: ...some guy tried to pick me up, claiming he was Dave Eggers, but I knew he was lying the entire timeFuzzy Squid: HA!Fuzzy Squid: I'm going to start telling people I'm Dave Eggers. JRock: But he was psychotically detailed about the whole thing.Fuzzy Squid: Well, are you sure it wasn't Dave Eggers?JRock: It didn't look like Dave Eggers.JRock: I have his

2005-10-09T18:34:00.000-04:00

From: madyDate: October 7, 2005 7:38:00 PM EDTSubject: lik lakMessage: hello,,can "ll be freinds ?i am mady from egypt i wll visit NY as soon in december and i looking for new experience in my life and want to see the open mind ,,,thant wee have a close mind in our contry by the way i am single and virgan till now and want some one more experience than me to tell me the way that i wll walk in

2005-09-16T20:53:00.000-04:00

Why I May Not Be Talking To YouA handy reference guide*You are a liar.You are a hypocrite.You treat me badly.You try to make me feel bad about myself to elevate yourself in your own eyes.You disgust me.You think I might be in love with you.You are in love with me.I hate you.You are an asshole.You have deep seated psychological problems that impede normal social relationships.*This is really good,

2005-09-11T18:07:00.000-04:00

Happy NA-Na-La-La everyone! I can't wait until they make it a national holiday and we get like a day off from work and stuff. Not like all the days off from work we got when the OG Na-Na-La-La was. Like if you even had a job left or you weren't like dead. Yeah, that would be nice, a little reward for otherwise being turned into our countries excuse for pretty much everything. I can't wait for the

2005-08-26T02:51:00.000-04:00

I am sick.

2005-06-18T02:52:00.000-04:00

jessielake Originally uploaded by Rock'em Stock'em. The following is totally not true.I was bitten by a baby Liger at the petting zoo.

2005-06-11T18:02:00.000-04:00

I am older, I am wiser. I gouged a large part of my thumb out. This is the part that's on the inside of your first knuckle. It bled a whole lot. It continued to bleed a whole lot. It's gross. I am not going to explain how I did this. Instead I am going to explain, why I am not going to explain it. You don't know what I really do for a living, you only have a kind of vauge idea that it somehow

2005-05-16T02:13:00.000-04:00

When You Get To The Point Make Sure That I'm Still Awake, OK?This is an unsolicited message that I recieved via Friendster, awhile back. It is here below in all it's entire uncorrected glory. I was inspired to post it by Nuncstans, (Unicorns United 4EVA!!!)Please share you thoughts, feelings and interpretations. Date: Tuesday, 05 April, 2005 03:17:00 AMSubject: tuesdayMessage:I see you drinking

Totally True Things About Me

2005-04-09T18:01:00.000-04:00

5 Totally True Things About MeUntil I was 12, I thought the Jehovah's Witnesses, were actual witnesses in a trial.I didn't learn how to ride a bike until I was almost 22When I was a small child my brother convinced me that it was possible that the Staten Island ferry could hit an iceberg, and even though I knew how to swim I would drown anyway.Also as a small child, I believed that the mezzuzah

ilikepeopletothinkiamsmart

2005-04-01T19:07:00.000-05:00

ilikepeopletothinkiamsmart Originally uploaded by Rock'em Stock'em.

2005-03-07T03:32:00.000-05:00

I Wrote A Poem About ThatTwo opening sentences that will make me shudder or try as best I can to change the subject are "I wrote a poem about..." and "I had the weirdest dream..." Last night an off-handed but somewhat gross comment reminded me of an account of a dream had by an ex-boyfriend. He would off-handedly describe said dream to anyone who would listen, seemingly wanting to hear their

2005-02-22T02:31:00.000-05:00

Please send me all your fantasies, stories, ideas about psychotic behavior in relationships. I want the "best way to break ups" or the "cheesiest thing he ever did." You can e-mail them to me, or post them in comments.

J-Rockemstockem Hates Valentine's Day

2005-02-09T21:49:00.000-05:00

*heartgroup copy Originally uploaded by Rock'em Stock'em. J-Rockemstockem Hates Valentine's Day Here's a nice photo for you, and a few thoughts and demands. Please from now on refer to my breasts, not as "titties," "coconuts," "bazongas," or "honkers," but only as "zoomers," or "funbags."There is something really weird about my new job. It might be that nobody has yelled at anyone, or

Merry Christmas!

2004-12-25T13:56:00.000-05:00

Really Awesome Moments in my life. In this e-mail exchange someone, I hated happened to e-mail my place of business. My employer replied for me. -----Original Message----- From: s**** m**** Sent: Saturday, December 18, 2004 7:56 PM To: mail@*******.com Subject: Feedback Form Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted by s**** m**** on Saturday, December 18, 2004 at 16:55:58 --

Answering Machines, Beating a Dead Horse

2004-11-09T10:27:00.000-05:00

redskirt Originally uploaded by Rock'em Stock'em. Emily Posting It So today was Papa Stock's birthday. When I called him to wish him well, I got his answering machine. Which of course, somehow within the course of the message conjures up words such as agitation, pretentious, obnoxious, pompous, affected and so on; how you may ask... Perhaps it is because the message is like 2 minutes long

Vote Or Die Is A Stupid Slogan

2004-11-02T13:29:00.000-05:00

Okay, I Am Totally Posting This All Over The PlaceCue Theme From Greatest American Hero.Unfortunately I fear by posting this, I am somehow jinxing something.I also just want to say "Vote or Die," is a really stupid slogan, like the ballot, is dusted with the antidote to the Ebola-AIDS that they're going to be spraying midnight EST when the CA polls close. Because I always vote, (even in the

Most of my Sandwiches have been Heroes

2004-10-26T16:35:00.000-04:00

It's Turtles All The Way DownI hurt myself again. Last week, while changing in a confined space, teetering on one leg, I fell, slamming both my bottom and my top onto tile. My tailbone is bruised or something, not much I can do about it, except bitch and moan. So, um here is me bitching and moaning. Feel sorry for me. Just a note, As it is getting cold in New York, sometimes you have to turn the

but it was something i had to dobut more so wanted to do or had to do because i wanted to do it so.

2004-09-25T14:58:00.000-04:00

but it was something i had to do but more so wanted to do or had to do because i wanted to do it so.That is an uncorrected quote, I have no idea what that means, apparently someone wants or needs to do something, or wants to need to do something....so. I think it might be poetry.

2004-09-23T13:47:00.000-04:00

This Goes Out To Dan and His Pedestrian Lilith Womyn Music TastesI went to to a greasy hipster karaoke birthday party this weekend. You know the kind where we laugh at the un-cool people wearing the shirt that they bought in K-Mart, which we're going to buy in a "vintage" store next year at a considerable markup. Chubby suburban co-ed in bad outfit gets up and sings Torn, by that modely looking

2004-09-06T16:45:00.000-04:00

I had been sort of wallowing in bitterness in the hours between sleeping and drinking not that, that isn't normal; moreover, I think I secretly relish being miserable (well, perhaps not so secretly.)Rules for a super happy deluxe life: a.k.a., you must break up with your woman ifBy Fuzzy Squid1. She fails the door test2. She dresses up as a cat or bunny for halloween3. She hooks up with anyone (

2004-08-17T19:28:00.000-04:00

Would anyone want to bang you? by phobiaName:Favorite Food:Wants to Bang you:This many times:106Quiz created with MemeGen! I know I don't usually fall prey to these. Well once a long long time ago, and it doesn't count. It was under peer pressure and duress. This made me feel better though, because it in one perfect moment fulfilled my Junior High School fantasy, and because DrunkAdam just asked

2004-08-16T20:03:00.000-04:00

I HATE YOUR HAPPINESS The person you are dating is great. They shower you with gifts and appreciate everything you do. They anticipate your every mood and are there to make you happier every day. Whenever you are in a bad mood puppies and bunnie rabbits appear and you are carried away by fairies to a magical place where chipmunks and kittens dance in front of you and present you with cakes and

2004-08-09T18:46:00.000-04:00

No Takebacks, Make-Ups or Do-Overs Just apologize and admit that you are wrong. This is not directed to you.

2004-07-27T10:33:00.000-04:00

So apparently, there is going to be an Amish In The City. I told you so. Sometimes when I am walking around with Mr. Ballz, I play this game called Crazy or Fashionable The difficulty in playing comes from the neighborhood in which you are in.

2004-07-12T20:34:00.000-04:00

An Actual Conversation With My Mother J-Rock: It sounds dirty. The Moms: Yeah, sorta like fisting.... but weirder, cause you don't really know what cupping is.

2004-07-11T05:12:00.000-04:00

Perhaps I am not as bitter or crazy as I thought. OMG!

2004-06-25T14:56:00.000-04:00

On a sad note my Mother's dog Jeff moved out of our house last night, to live with the angels in doggy heaven. I had quite an unpleasant morning helping him with this relocation. I was thinking there should be a private service, that could come to your house and move your animal, and perhaps clean up a little. When a person moves in with the angels in people heavan, there are agencies that come

2004-06-19T06:19:00.000-04:00

I love you, and I will never tell anyone about it.

2004-05-08T17:15:00.000-04:00

I have been falling lately. Last week I fell off of a bike during Critical Mass. The injuries sustained were minor. Last night I broke my toe. I think I fell out of bed and down some stairs. The visual hilarity not withstanding, I am in a bit of pain. I have my studio up, so you should buy something from me.

2004-04-01T03:29:00.000-05:00

I am no longer employed. I was fired yesterday from my job of almost three years. No apologies please. This isn't a bad thing. As I hate talking about actual feelings or any of that shit, I will keep it short and sweet and say, your job is your bitch. You know how sometimes you are in a crappy relationship, but you don't want to dump the bitch because you, don't want to sleep alone, you have

2003-12-01T22:00:00.000-05:00

FUCKING TELEVISON I just saw the latest teaser for Average Joe. The latest in the neverending cavalcade of desperate bimbos clawing all over themselves for a less then handsome, suitably bland fucksuck, whom they think, or rather, hope has a larger bulge in his wallet than he has in his pants. The best part is, they take this bubbly girl, and deposit her in a remote location promising her a

2003-11-06T02:39:00.000-05:00

One of the most important lessons I have learned in life, has to do with vomit. I am not a regular thrower-upper, but I have had my moments. Take my advice HANDS AWAY FROM FACE. Heed this, and things will not get unnecessarily ugly. This is not something I just, learned, but I do feel it is important to share. Thank you.

2003-10-29T20:36:00.000-05:00

I know it's been awhile. I am like that "guy you're sorta seeing." You know the one. He always has excuses and plans. Never committing to a Friday night date. Waits hours to call you back, even though he got the message and isn't doing anything. He has a big dick, is gorgeous, smart, funny but doesn't want commitment. Yeah, I am really sensitive, but I don't reveal my feelings. I make grand plans

2003-09-25T04:09:00.000-04:00

I am leaving my the vicinity (I usually stay within walking distance.) I am leaving NYC (I hope it is still there when I get back.) I will have to travel (it seems that all of my trips are punctured with nudity, drunken tom-foolery and injurous situations.) I am going to California (are New Yorkers allowed to do that?) I bought an Ipod (it has seldom been dropped on floor or toilet.) HOT SEXY

2003-09-21T14:41:00.000-04:00

Still Roasting's Greatest Night EVER I went to a party for 'Sup Magazine last night. TV On The Radio played. She stumbled to the stage just after the first song started. She stood in front of the singer, holding her hand up as if to say "Hi," in a personal joke type of way. She soon went on to the guitar player, she didn't so much walk in front as stomped. She led her small "Jewish Friend,"

2003-09-07T17:50:00.000-04:00

111 THINGS I AM SAYING in no particular order. 1. beef or chicken? 2. are you there god? I hate you. 3. I did not kill Jesus 4. I hate Valentine's Day 5. please don't look at me when we fuck. 6. I will eat your eyes when you die. 7. I would give someone a kidney. 8. I do not suck at all. 9. ...is as dumb as a bag of hot dirt. 10. I will save you some day. 11. nothing is going to change. 12. I

2003-09-07T16:11:00.000-04:00

What People Are Saying About Me Andrea ".....what you may not know about J.Rock is that she shits her pants" never have, that was you, and I forgive you for that. Kris "I watch J.Rock rub knobs every day with her very sensual hands. She does it for a living. Sometimes, when she gets excited she will even poke and prod, too." never have, that was you, and I forgive you for that. it always comes

2003-08-25T02:05:00.000-04:00

I know, it has been so long. It has been a long time for many things in my life, sin and debauchery not withstanding, although I have managed to save some purity hidden deep somewhere within my cold, cold heart. I went on a road trip this weekend. Some things I learned in Atlantic City Opening a beer bottle with your teeth, will usually score you a free one. People will stare at you in awe and

2003-07-31T23:32:00.000-04:00

I do not like the sexy show with the girl with curly hair. Until last week, I had never seen even a clip. Now, I hate my clothes and hair. Now, I want to "settle down." I want to distance myself from all parallels that have been previously and will be drawn. I hated them before, now I fully understand and my hatred knows no bounds. I am glad that this phenomenon is ending. I know I am supposed to

2003-07-29T03:58:00.000-04:00

I am smitten with a boy. Today I bought hair ties that say they are firm and tight. Friendster is like that party where too many people have seen you naked in the morning. I tend to just get drunk and make a fool of myself in these situations.

2003-07-18T21:09:00.000-04:00

I didn't pose for the calender, at least not yet. More Chicks With Power Tools

2003-07-15T15:29:00.000-04:00

If you're reading this, there is a fifty percent chance that you have recieved at least one postcard from me. You may have also been the recipient of a valentine, or perhaps my contact information was handed to you on one of my business cards. Maybe you have seen my other work, or maybe if you just know me. Most people see the connections in all of these things. I have left the out names of the

2003-07-07T19:13:00.000-04:00

Thoughts On Completely Selling Out Returning from a long weekend in a warm place and going back to work, I have come up with two business plans. They both involve using my assets to their fullest. The only requirement is finding someone of equal or greater value to complete the equation. They are both similar in which they employ my education, looks, and verbal skills to (hopefully) terminate my

2003-07-02T21:18:00.000-04:00

An Apology To C. After breaking up with a long term boyfriend a few years ago, I hit a major dry spell. I wore the brand of my ex for some time. Then one spring, I met a boy. It was pretty casual I thought. I lived across town in the middle of nothing, and being Boston, (trains stop at 12:30) I stayed at his house. Everything seemed casual, I wasn't sure where it was going, then there was the

2003-06-18T23:39:00.000-04:00

I stole this from Mysteryfood. walshrockemstockemMagic Number16JobLeader of the Free WorldPersonalityProcrastinator (If The Apathy Doesn't Kill Me)TemperamentCheck My PulseSexualWhatever, Whenever, WhoeverLikely To WinA Duel With PistolsMe - In A WordEvilColourBrought to you by MemeJack

2003-06-18T20:19:00.000-04:00

Cat is back. Getting better, but not up to speed. He even seems to like me a bit now. Considering I haved now saved his life twice, that's not too bad. All the way home everyone wanted to look at the kitty in the box. They tried in vain to get him to aknowledge them. My cat is full of more hatred and indifference than even me, that's what I like about him.

2003-06-14T15:13:00.000-04:00

All the mean things I have said about my cat I take back. I went to the animal hospital today to visit him. He is not happy. Lots of tubes and such, one of those things around his head so he can't do anything, and only semi-concious. Sad kitty.

2003-06-13T22:23:00.000-04:00

I have a cat. His name is Stinky McTrashy.com. I found him on the street 4 years ago. He was just weened and his mother had abandoned him. I took him home in a cardboard box. He proceeded to "make stinky" all over the box. He hates me, maybe that's harsh. He doesn't care about you, me or anyone except for BlahBlahBlah, the other cat, who he likes to rape, she likes it, being the Anna Nicole Smith

2003-06-10T19:12:00.000-04:00

Highlights from the relationship that spawned that letter. (This is not exaggerated at all.) When we would fight, I would commonly have to ask him to buy a better dictionary. The letters, he insisted on writing me all these letters. I have saved them all, but only for a good chuckle now and then. The letters were sometimes undecipherable, due to the aforementioned bad grammar and obscene

2003-06-10T01:47:00.000-04:00

I don't know where Barkley Square is. I am not sure what a night an gale is. I am having problems with the comment thing. Please comment when it is possible.

2003-06-07T23:27:00.000-04:00

This is an unedited letter I recieved via e-mail from an obviously moronic ex-boyfriend. Helmut is a dog. At first I was confused about that last part, apparently it is a song. I am not sure if I was supposed to recognize it, or maybe think it was a beautiful poem. I haven't responded. Any suggestions? Dear Jessie, I know it's been at least a year since you sent me an email asking me how

2003-06-04T18:16:00.000-04:00

I admit it, it is me that has been sending you those cards. Now that you have discovered it, it is all ruined. You have ruined everything...again. Thank you everyone for all your good wishes. If I was mean to anyone, it was because I was drunk. I am sorry. If you were mean to me, or disapointed me in any way. I most likely forgive you. I will now be ammending the last post to reflect UD.

2003-06-03T20:43:00.000-04:00

I seem to have given someone or perhaps some people the wrong impression to some people. I do not hate boys. Contrary to what I may say sometimes, I do not believe that I am cursed, oh I am definitly gifted. I am also imbued with the knowledge of the gods. I am like the Pope, well, if the Pope were really really hot, swung a hammer like Thor, and liked to do tequilla shots. As this is my birthday

2003-06-02T18:22:00.000-04:00

Since I have just sent out my mass e-mail, please try and read through all my posts and comment. I have sucsessfully posted all of them. It would make my day.

2003-06-02T02:29:00.000-04:00

June 2nd. If there is anyone actually reading this, you were probably directed by Universal Donor Today is his birthday. To celebrate this, he is going to be spending the entire day in his birthday suit. He will be masturbating fanatically (picture OCD handwashing, but with his weener,) until either his hands cramp, or his genitals become raw, achey and sore. He will probably be doing the all New

2003-05-31T15:00:00.000-04:00

I am completely incapable of sustaining a healthy realtionship that lasts over a week, although I do seem to find boys who want to try, or maybe they just want to get in my pants. Which leads to fun games that harken back to highschool, and not letting boys in your pants. All that aside, I had a date last week. Well actually I didn't. I met a boy a little over two months ago. He gave me his

2003-05-30T18:08:00.000-04:00

I am sorry this has no comments. I don't know if anyone is actually reading this, but if you are out there, I am sorry. I need a nap. The people at my work are kind of crazy. All conversations seem to revolve around dirty, dirty sex, bowel movements, or our hatred for our only manic, manic-depressive boss. Yesterday, I heard someone describe shitting off the side of a boat. Then we looked at

2003-05-27T19:27:00.000-04:00

My suspicions were right. After I got out the lone passenger asked to stop at an ATM. The driver refused. Passenger explained the options, stop or you don't get paid. I guess the driver wasn't a gambling man. He lost his fare. All in all he did get a $9 tip.

2003-05-27T08:34:00.000-04:00

I got my phone back. I left it in the cab. The cab driver returned it to my brother at work, but not before accusing me of running out on the cab, an unlikely situation if you read my last post. Luckily he took care of it, because I might have had to get all ninja and kick the motherfucker in the neck. Brother #1 gave him a $20 bill and told him to shut up. I have a bad feeling about the person

2003-05-27T01:49:00.000-04:00

I am cold, it is late may and I am still freezing all the time. I spent the day doing nothing, mourning my phone. I need to go back to sleep, but this may be the first time I feel actually awake in the past 18 hours. My neck and back went all out of wack from lying around on the couch all day. I took my pill and am now feeling a little better. Unfortunatly this also makes me prone to sentiment. I

2003-05-26T17:40:00.000-04:00

I lost my phone Last night, I had a mexican standoff outside my building at 5am. If someone is going home, why does this seem to be an ample opportunity to hit on them? Why ask where I am going, obviously I am going into this door. Finally when asked repeatedly to go away, and he did. I looked for my phone, as he stumbled off into the street, narrowly missing cars and other drunk pedestrians. I