This is an unedited letter I recieved via e-mail from an obviously moronic ex-boyfriend. Helmut is a dog. At first I was confused about that last part, apparently it is a song. I am not sure if I was supposed to recognize it, or maybe think it was a beautiful poem. I haven't responded. Any suggestions?

Dear Jessie,
     I know it's been at least a year since you sent me an email asking me how Helmut was doing and that you didn't give a shit how i was. It's taken me a long time to be able to write to you for many reasons. Reasons you probable don't want to here about. i can tell you he is fantastic and he misses you very much. i know this because i just asked him and he told me he did very much. When i asked him if he missed you his tail and head simultaneously started shacking like crazy. If you want i will send you a picture of him. i hope you are happy and doing well.
     That certain light that night we met, there was magic abroad in the air. There were angels dining at the Ritz and a night an gale sang in Barkley Square. i may be right, i may be wrong but i'm perfectly willing to swear that when you turned to me and smiled at me a night an gale sang in Barkley Square.
     No matter how much you dislike me or hate me i still think of you often.
     i Remember.
Love keith

Posted 11:27 PM by J.Ro