Walsh Rock 'em Stock 'em
Listed on BlogShares

Monday, July 07, 2003

Thoughts On Completely Selling Out
Returning from a long weekend in a warm place and going back to work, I have come up with two business plans. They both involve using my assets to their fullest. The only requirement is finding someone of equal or greater value to complete the equation. They are both similar in which they employ my education, looks, and verbal skills to (hopefully) terminate my need for employment.

The first one is to marry rich. I know that sounds passe, trashy and misogynist, but we are talking about selling out, and if I am to throw away my values, I might as well do it right. I look good in and out of clothes. Swimsuits, cocktail dresses, burlap sacks, what have you. I can walk in heels, until I have guzzled enough martinis to politely stagger. I can chat and flirt about current events usually without offending anyone (if I try hard enough). I can also use my interest and education in the arts for my charity work.

The second is to sell white babies. I was born with blond hair and blue eyes, I am attractive, thin, of above average height and have been tested at well above average intelligence. I am college educated and have no history of insanity or early onset diseases in my family. We mostly all live to be old and remember it. I have good genes.

The only problems are that I worry about the return policies on these two.

I was recently asked to pose for a calendar the subject being Chicks with power tools. I use tools. I can swing a hammer like fucking Thor, I own a torch and am certified by the FDNY to operate an air compressor. I work in a wood/metalshop. I haven't committed yet, perhaps there is hope for me yet.


Home