but it was something i had to do but more so wanted to do or had to do because i wanted to do it so.
That is an uncorrected quote, I have no idea what that means, apparently someone wants or needs to do something, or wants to need to do something....so.
I think it might be poetry.
Posted 2:58 PM by J.Ro           

This Goes Out To Dan and His Pedestrian Lilith Womyn Music Tastes
I went to to a greasy hipster karaoke birthday party this weekend. You know the kind where we laugh at the un-cool people wearing the shirt that they bought in K-Mart, which we're going to buy in a "vintage" store next year at a considerable markup. Chubby suburban co-ed in bad outfit gets up and sings Torn, by that modely looking whiny woman-child Natalie Somethingthatshouldhavebeenchangedbeforeshegotfamousanditstoolate. I always found it to be kind of unbelievable; maybe because I doubted that she could fully express those emotions. I am not sure what gave me this impression, perhaps the vapid look in her eyes that I assumed was a constant haze due to hunger and drug induced euphoria, or she's just really, really dumb, or maybe that she didn't really look all that bitter, like she had never had her heart torn but I digress, this girl felt it. I mean she owned that song. She got up there with that song, hid in it, and was jumping out because she lived there. I could picture her, alone in her room, that song coming on, lighting a candle and lip-synching into the mirror. Yeah, that song has really gotten her through some rough times. There were times in her life that she only had that song and that box of stale valentine's chocolate. She felt every word of it, and I felt her feeling it. A tear almost formed in my arid ducts, and for a moment, I almost felt a mild warmth in my cold bitter heart.
okay, I know Dan, you don't like Natalie Imbruglia, but it's too late, everyone thinks you do! HA!
I WIN!
Posted 1:47 PM by J.Ro           

I had been sort of wallowing in bitterness in the hours between sleeping and drinking not that, that isn't normal; moreover, I think I secretly relish being miserable (well, perhaps not so secretly.)

Rules for a super happy deluxe life:
a.k.a., you must break up with your woman if
By Fuzzy Squid
1. She fails the door test
2. She dresses up as a cat or bunny for halloween
3. She hooks up with anyone (no excuses)

Now I will explain a few things to you.
Monkey Butler Engagement
Diamonds are dirty, I am lazy.
My dream engagement would consist of all of the regular trappings, but instead of presenting the ring in some cutsey, hid in the pastry, down on one knee; I suggest you maybe just go to the bathroom or take an important phone call, or something.
The important part of this scenario is a helper monkey butler.
I want him to be wearing a fez, a vest and maybe a little bow tie.
The fez isn't the most important part, but I think it's cute.
I do insist on pants, because I don't want monkey bits ruining this special moment.
This may sound complicated but, hey, you have to ask your self:
How many times am I going to propose marriage?
He should be holding a little sign, or maybe hand me a note.
I get to keep the monkey, to make me coffee in the morning and shit, which does me a lot better good than some sparkly ring that I will inevitably flush down the toilet a week later when I am drunk.

Time Machine
Many of you have called and written to ask me about my time machine.
Alls I can say is, that I invented everything, or rather will after I invent my time machine, I go back in time and do it.
I am in no rush of course to make this, so don't come and ask me for it. Maybe it's already done.
Hey, get your sweaty hands off my time machine! I am not going to let you play with it anyway, I am the youngest child and I am sick to death of sharing.
Which of course also means, if we have met, I have gone back and forth in time and written down everything you have ever said.
I also have it copywritten.
Everything you have and ever will say, you owe me money for.

I have also made a bunch of T-shirts.
They are wicked fucking cool. I don't have any of them. They don't exist yet. You make them real, kind of like the way you make me real, with your kind words and beautiful thoughts, or maybe that it's that you fulfill me. Yes, yes you make me real and fulfill me. Whatever! You are so special to me, and you were all I was thinking about when I was making them. Yes, you, you know who you are! They're like wishes that you pay for and then they come true. Go buy some. Make a wish come true. My wish is that I have more money, so go run along now and make that come true.
Posted 4:45 PM by J.Ro