Walsh Rock 'em Stock 'em

I See
I am looking at a book right now called Raccoons Are The Smartest People; no they are not, they're raccoons.

I was recently watchiing Cinderella with my neice. There was a preveiw for Cinderella III. WTF? Where was II? So of course I had to look it up. My favorite part of IMDB are the message boards. This is an actual quote from the message board:
Why does she wear her old serving clothes when she goes to the village and why doe she have other dresses that are similar in design to her servent dress? Makes me wonder where she got them. You would think Cinderella would get rid of everything that reminds her of being a servent in her own home which includes the old dress. She has yet to replace the ballgown the she wore to the ball.
Not only is this a quote but this is the topic of an entire board, there are seven responses at this time. I am way too lazy to point out all of the things that are stupid about this, so I will let you figure it out on your own.

Posted 3:25 PM by J.Ro

Although, He Did Call Me Stunning

JRock: ...some guy tried to pick me up, claiming he was Dave Eggers, but I knew he was lying the entire time
Fuzzy Squid: HA!
Fuzzy Squid: I'm going to start telling people I'm Dave Eggers.
JRock: But he was psychotically detailed about the whole thing.
Fuzzy Squid: Well, are you sure it wasn't Dave Eggers?
JRock: It didn't look like Dave Eggers.
JRock: I have his phone number, you want to call him?
JRock: He also said he was 31. I think Dave Eggers is at least 33, maybe as old as 35.
JRock: Just call him and ask him "who's this?"
Fuzzy Squid: Well, I mean, if it didn't look like him.
Fuzzy Squid: His picture is everywhere.
Fuzzy Squid: You should be able to tell.
Fuzzy Squid: Plus, doesn't he live in SF?
Fuzzy Squid: He's had that white fro for a while now, right?
JRock: He had a beard, I told him, "you don't look like Dave Eggers, why are you lying?"
JRock: I know it wasn't Dave Eggers, but he was buying all my drinks, and I thought it was funny.
Fuzzy Squid: Yeah see,
Fuzzy Squid: that's where I draw the line,
Fuzzy Squid: I will lie to a woman,
Fuzzy Squid: but I won't buy her drinks
JRock: But I knew he was lying. I had been talking to him for a moment, and then I asked him his name, and he didn't say "Dave," he said "Dave Eggers...."
JRock: It's fucking hilarious, because he wouldn't let it go, even when I said "I know you are not Dave Eggers, but I think it's really funny that you lie like that"
Fuzzy Squid: I wish girls would lie to me.
Fuzzy Squid: instead they tell me all about their boring lives.
JRock: Please call him. It would be really funny since you're in SF.
Fuzzy Squid: what's his number?
JRock: oooh!
JRock: 917XXXXXXX
Fuzzy Squid: Do you like this guy or not?
JRock: I don't care, I just thought it was really funny.
JRock: He may be crazy.
JRock: Well, he is crazy, obviously.
Fuzzy Squid: I left him a message.
JRock: What did it say?
JRock: What did his machine say?
Fuzzy Squid: His voicemail just said his phone number.
Fuzzy Squid: "I'm not sure who I'm calling for, but my name is David, actually, my friends call me Dave."
Fuzzy Squid: "I heard you met my friend Jessie last night, she's the redhead--she told me the story and I thought it was pretty funny."
Fuzzy Squid: "I just wanted to call and let you know why she was pretty sure you aren't who you said you were, bye!"
JRock: You're so awesome.
Fuzzy Squid: He just called me.
Fuzzy Squid: He said I got the wrong number.
Fuzzy Squid: Ha!
Fuzzy Squid: He sounded a bit crazy.
JRock: What? Are you kidding? Did he say who it was?
Fuzzy Squid: Aw, I should've inquired further--no, all he said was that he thinks I got the wrong number, and he asked me who I was looking for and I said, "you know what, I'm not sure who exactly I'm looking for."
JRock: WTF! I have his book. He wrote some poem and signed it Dave Eggers, but I can barely read his writing
Fuzzy Squid: What do you mean you have his book?
JRock: This little leather notebook.
Fuzzy Squid: why do you have crazy pants' notebook?
JRock: Because he was trying to prove he was D.E.
JRock: This is so great, first someone writes me Bukowski poems on Friendster, now someone's impersonating Dave Eggers.
Fuzzy Squid: Are you ever going to call the guy?
JRock: Why?
Fuzzy Squid: To tell him you think his writing is overrated,
Fuzzy Squid: I don't know?
JRock: I already did. I told him I had read his book of short stories and it sucked and I couldn't finish it. I was happy it was a library book so I could return it.
Fuzzy Squid: Ha!
JRock: Well it's not like I had anything to lose, he wouldn't show me his ID, and I knew it wasn't him.

Posted 8:56 PM by J.Ro