Just a suggestion, if you don't want people to know about that time you hired a tranny prostitute, don't get drunk and tell the story every time you meet someone. The smile and glazed eyes as you reminisce on how (s)he worked it, and how it was the best tail you ever had, gives it away.

Dear Throat Cancer Guy,
Please go away. It's not that I support cancer or anything, I am sorry you had throat cancer, but I don't want to see you swabbing your goddamn throat anymore. I am sorry that the hole in your throat stops you from swimming, maybe you can get water wings or get some kind of throat snorkel.

Dear Tang,
I hate you. I gave it a shot, but you suck. Please leave my fridgidator, the weird orange glow kinda scares me.

Dear Pootie-Tang,
I love you, stay the same. You're awesome.

Dear Omen,
Thank you for bringing me such joy with your unnessecarily violent death scenes. If I ever spawn, child of satan or not, I am only going to cut their hair while they are sleeping and tell them the hair cutting fairy did it. Also, if that kid isn't the child of the devil for reals, you've really fucked him up, if he is, well he still is going to be fucked up. I think he may need to see a shrink.
Posted 3:21 PM by J.Ro