Posted 11:52 PM by J.Ro           

These are just some pictures I have. I took some, found one, etc.
















Posted 4:46 AM by J.Ro           

Papa Stock's birthday has come and gone, and he still hasn't changed his answering machine. On a funny note, last night he was mistaken for my husband.
Posted 8:52 PM by J.Ro           

Googling Gogol
Today I saw a man without a nose, just a band-aid where his nose should be. I tried not to stare, and think of Gogol.
Posted 11:44 PM by J.Ro           

I See
I am looking at a book right now called Raccoons Are The Smartest People; no they are not, they're raccoons.

I was recently watchiing Cinderella with my neice. There was a preveiw for Cinderella III. WTF? Where was II? So of course I had to look it up. My favorite part of IMDB are the message boards. This is an actual quote from the message board:
Why does she wear her old serving clothes when she goes to the village and why doe she have other dresses that are similar in design to her servent dress? Makes me wonder where she got them. You would think Cinderella would get rid of everything that reminds her of being a servent in her own home which includes the old dress. She has yet to replace the ballgown the she wore to the ball.
Not only is this a quote but this is the topic of an entire board, there are seven responses at this time. I am way too lazy to point out all of the things that are stupid about this, so I will let you figure it out on your own.
Posted 3:25 PM by J.Ro           

Although, He Did Call Me Stunning

JRock: ...some guy tried to pick me up, claiming he was Dave Eggers, but I knew he was lying the entire time
Fuzzy Squid: HA!
Fuzzy Squid: I'm going to start telling people I'm Dave Eggers.
JRock: But he was psychotically detailed about the whole thing.
Fuzzy Squid: Well, are you sure it wasn't Dave Eggers?
JRock: It didn't look like Dave Eggers.
JRock: I have his phone number, you want to call him?
JRock: He also said he was 31. I think Dave Eggers is at least 33, maybe as old as 35.
JRock: Just call him and ask him "who's this?"
Fuzzy Squid: Well, I mean, if it didn't look like him.
Fuzzy Squid: His picture is everywhere.
Fuzzy Squid: You should be able to tell.
Fuzzy Squid: Plus, doesn't he live in SF?
Fuzzy Squid: He's had that white fro for a while now, right?
JRock: He had a beard, I told him, "you don't look like Dave Eggers, why are you lying?"
JRock: I know it wasn't Dave Eggers, but he was buying all my drinks, and I thought it was funny.
Fuzzy Squid: Yeah see,
Fuzzy Squid: that's where I draw the line,
Fuzzy Squid: I will lie to a woman,
Fuzzy Squid: but I won't buy her drinks
JRock: But I knew he was lying. I had been talking to him for a moment, and then I asked him his name, and he didn't say "Dave," he said "Dave Eggers...."
JRock: It's fucking hilarious, because he wouldn't let it go, even when I said "I know you are not Dave Eggers, but I think it's really funny that you lie like that"
Fuzzy Squid: I wish girls would lie to me.
Fuzzy Squid: instead they tell me all about their boring lives.
JRock: Please call him. It would be really funny since you're in SF.
Fuzzy Squid: what's his number?
JRock: oooh!
JRock: 917XXXXXXX
Fuzzy Squid: Do you like this guy or not?
JRock: I don't care, I just thought it was really funny.
JRock: He may be crazy.
JRock: Well, he is crazy, obviously.
Fuzzy Squid: I left him a message.
JRock: What did it say?
JRock: What did his machine say?
Fuzzy Squid: His voicemail just said his phone number.
Fuzzy Squid: "I'm not sure who I'm calling for, but my name is David, actually, my friends call me Dave."
Fuzzy Squid: "I heard you met my friend Jessie last night, she's the redhead--she told me the story and I thought it was pretty funny."
Fuzzy Squid: "I just wanted to call and let you know why she was pretty sure you aren't who you said you were, bye!"
JRock: You're so awesome.
Fuzzy Squid: He just called me.
Fuzzy Squid: He said I got the wrong number.
Fuzzy Squid: Ha!
Fuzzy Squid: He sounded a bit crazy.
JRock: What? Are you kidding? Did he say who it was?
Fuzzy Squid: Aw, I should've inquired further--no, all he said was that he thinks I got the wrong number, and he asked me who I was looking for and I said, "you know what, I'm not sure who exactly I'm looking for."
JRock: WTF! I have his book. He wrote some poem and signed it Dave Eggers, but I can barely read his writing
Fuzzy Squid: What do you mean you have his book?
JRock: This little leather notebook.
Fuzzy Squid: why do you have crazy pants' notebook?
JRock: Because he was trying to prove he was D.E.
JRock: This is so great, first someone writes me Bukowski poems on Friendster, now someone's impersonating Dave Eggers.
Fuzzy Squid: Are you ever going to call the guy?
JRock: Why?
Fuzzy Squid: To tell him you think his writing is overrated,
Fuzzy Squid: I don't know?
JRock: I already did. I told him I had read his book of short stories and it sucked and I couldn't finish it. I was happy it was a library book so I could return it.
Fuzzy Squid: Ha!
JRock: Well it's not like I had anything to lose, he wouldn't show me his ID, and I knew it wasn't him.
Posted 8:56 PM by J.Ro           

From: mady
Date: October 7, 2005 7:38:00 PM EDT
Subject: lik lak
Message:
hello,,can "ll be freinds ?
i am mady from egypt i wll visit NY as soon in
december and i looking for new experience in my
life and want to see the open mind ,,,thant wee
have a close mind in our contry by the way i am
single and virgan till now and want some one more
experience than me to tell me the way that i wll
walk in this big state for holiday i visit LA before
but with family ahh :( and now with my freind :)
and looking for new freinds there ...
Posted 6:34 PM by J.Ro           

Why I May Not Be Talking To You
A handy reference guide*

You are a liar.
You are a hypocrite.
You treat me badly.
You try to make me feel bad about myself to elevate yourself in your own eyes.
You disgust me.
You think I might be in love with you.
You are in love with me.
I hate you.
You are an asshole.
You have deep seated psychological problems that impede normal social relationships.

Posted 8:53 PM by J.Ro           

Happy NA-Na-La-La everyone!

I can't wait until they make it a national holiday and we get like a day off from work and stuff. Not like all the days off from work we got when the OG Na-Na-La-La was. Like if you even had a job left or you weren't like dead. Yeah, that would be nice, a little reward for otherwise being turned into our countries excuse for pretty much everything. I can't wait for the days ahead when everyone looks forward to NA-Na-La-La Day. There will be NA-Na-La-La Day parades, where everyone dresses up as buidings and planes and they run into eachother, all the while small children run away from them in mock terror. There will be NA-Na-La-La Day barbcues, (which I think is most appropriate) where we will all sit around the specially constructed NA-Na-La-La Day fire pit and remember the smoldering fires and the smell of rotting and burning flesh that lingered for oh so many months.
So, How do you get a national holiday declared? I am sure that some of those other "days-offa-work" holidays were originally to remember some important event, like you know, like Memorial Day, Labor Day and Easter are about something right?
Posted 6:07 PM by J.Ro           

I am sick.
Posted 2:51 AM by J.Ro           

The following is totally not true.
I was bitten by a baby Liger at the petting zoo.
Posted 2:52 AM by J.Ro           

I am older, I am wiser.
I gouged a large part of my thumb out. This is the part that's on the inside of your first knuckle.
It bled a whole lot. It continued to bleed a whole lot. It's gross.
I am not going to explain how I did this. Instead I am going to explain, why I am not going to explain it.
You don't know what I really do for a living, you only have a kind of vauge idea that it somehow involves certain things.
It bores me to have to try to explain it, when inevitably after 13 seconds your eyes glaze over when you realize, it really isn't anything like Flashdance.
I am not proud of what happened.
You don't really care.

And yes, I will have a scar.
Posted 6:02 PM by J.Ro           

When You Get To The Point Make Sure That I'm Still Awake, OK?

This is an unsolicited message that I recieved via Friendster, awhile back. It is here below in all it's entire uncorrected glory. I was inspired to post it by Nuncstans, (Unicorns United 4EVA!!!)Please share you thoughts, feelings and interpretations.

Date: Tuesday, 05 April, 2005 03:17:00 AM
Subject: tuesday

Message:
I see you drinking at a fountain with tiny
blue hands, no, your hands are not tiny
they are small, and the fountain is in France
where you wrote me that last letter and
I answered and never heard from you again.
you used to write insane poems about
ANGELS AND GOD, all in upper case, and you
knew famous artists and most of them
were your lovers, and I wrote back, it all right,
go ahead, enter their lives, I not jealous
because we never met. we got close once in
New Orleans, one half block, but never met, never
touched. so you went with the famous and wrote
about the famous, and, of course, what you found out
is that the famous are worried about
their fame not the beautiful young girl in bed
with them, who gives them that, and then awakens
in the morning to write upper case poems about
ANGELS AND GOD. we know God is dead, they told
us, but listening to you I wasn sure. maybe
it was the upper case. you were one of the
best female poets and I told the publishers,
editors, her, print her, she mad but she
magic. there no lie in her fire. I loved you
like a man loves a woman he never touches, only
writes to, keeps little photographs of. I would have
loved you more if I had sat in a small room rolling a
cigarette and listened to you piss in the bathroom,
but that didn happen. your letters got sadder.
your lovers betrayed you. kid, I wrote back, all
lovers betray. it didn help. you said
you had a crying bench and it was by a bridge and
the bridge was over a river and you sat on the crying
bench every night and wept for the lovers who had
hurt and forgotten you. I wrote back but never
heard again. a friend wrote me of your suicide
3 or 4 months after it happened. if I had met you
I would probably have been unfair to you or you
to me. it was best like this.

I admit that there are some details that I am aware of, that I have left out, but I have left hints.
Posted 2:13 AM by J.Ro           

5 Totally True Things About Me

Until I was 12, I thought the Jehovah's Witnesses, were actual witnesses in a trial.
I didn't learn how to ride a bike until I was almost 22
When I was a small child my brother convinced me that it was possible that the Staten Island ferry could hit an iceberg, and even though I knew how to swim I would drown anyway.
Also as a small child, I believed that the mezzuzah my father wore around his neck was actually a whistle; this was not helped by the fact that everytime I called it such and blew into it, he would whistle.
I was excused from gym in Highschool for "personal" reasons.
Posted 6:01 PM by J.Ro           

ilikepeopletothinkiamsmart
Originally uploaded by Rock'em Stock'em.

I Wrote A Poem About That

Two opening sentences that will make me shudder or try as best I can to change the subject are "I wrote a poem about..." and "I had the weirdest dream..." Last night an off-handed but somewhat gross comment reminded me of an account of a dream had by an ex-boyfriend. He would off-handedly describe said dream to anyone who would listen, seemingly wanting to hear their interpretation. Since I had known this story for so many years, I had forgotten how truly horrifying it was. I casually related this dream to my friends, who I think are still shuddering. I am sorry to all who may have heard it.
Posted 3:32 AM by J.Ro           

Please send me all your fantasies, stories, ideas about psychotic behavior in relationships. I want the "best way to break ups" or the "cheesiest thing he ever did." You can e-mail them to me, or post them in comments.
Posted 2:31 AM by J.Ro           

J-Rockemstockem Hates Valentine's Day

Here's a nice photo for you, and a few thoughts and demands.
Please from now on refer to my breasts, not as "titties," "coconuts," "bazongas," or "honkers," but only as "zoomers," or "funbags."

There is something really weird about my new job. It might be that nobody has yelled at anyone, or about anything....yet. They're all pleasant.
I am desperately afraid that I am going to freak them out, especially today when I realized I was mumbling to myself. .

My father still hasn't changed his answering machine message.

I love you..

Posted 9:49 PM by J.Ro